Singles Bars and Grocery Stores

One reason I’m still single is that I write and talk much better than I look.

I have to bribe my way into a trendy night club while hordes of more attractive people enter for free. I’ve also noticed that I become more alluring to the ladies as they consume more adult drinks. A 1975 country song titled, “Don’t the Girls All Get Prettier at Closing Time” may apply to me in an odd gender switch! In recent years I’m not the only one who has observed that the cool comfort of the grocery store is replacing the sweaty hormone and possibly drug-fueled atmosphere of the singles bar. Some groceries feature a bar where people can relax and socialize before or after they pick up some groceries and perhaps a companion for the night. There’s always pleasant background music allowing one to have a decent conversation instead of flopping around on the dance floor to the latest hip-hop accompaniment. I credit the store’s modern HVAC and refrigeration systems that keeps shoppers cool, keeps frozen foods from thawing, maintains meats at about 40 degrees F, and vegetables at less than 55 degrees F. The store’s HVAC system also must safely remove heat from any in-store cooking equipment while allowing the bakery aromas to saturate the air. This provides the ideal climate for old bachelors who still get nervous approaching a prospective dinner date. The cool air will hide any beads of sweat and a great pick-up line in the grocery store is to ask your potential date if she knows which aisle a gourmet item can be found. We want fish to be fresh, but don’t be “fresh” yourself because a slap is still a proper rebuff in most places, even grocery stores.

 

Singles Bars and Grocery Stores